


Realizations (Part 2b)

by aostara



Series: Realizations [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Dan Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar Friendship, F/M, No Smut, Poor Dan Espinoza, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27792379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aostara/pseuds/aostara
Summary: What happened after Chloe told Dan and Lucifer to 'play nice' in Realizations Part 2?  Dan POV.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Realizations [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984717
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	Realizations (Part 2b)

Dan watched Chloe walk towards the lieutenant’s office for a moment before turning his gaze to her partner. Lucifer’s grin had faded into a more pensive expression, but his eyes remained soft and warm as he watched Chloe disappear around the corner. It was moments like these that made it hard for Dan to reconcile his newfound knowledge of Lucifer’s identity with everything he’d been taught during his Catholic upbringing. As unlikely as it seemed, it turned out that the literal, biblical Devil really did care, deeply and genuinely, and predominantly about the most important people in Dan’s life.

Sure, Lucifer was vain and arrogant, smug and self-absorbed, and could be a total dick when he felt like it, but the embodiment of evil? The Prince of Lies? Someone who took pleasure in getting people to act on their worst impulses? No, all of that more accurately described his conniving twin brother. And, to be honest, Maze, who had more than once enthusiastically encouraged Dan to walk the darker path.

Besides, he’d seen behind the curtain a time or two - Lucifer wasn’t always as cool and confident as he liked to appear. Their conversations during the Joe Fields case, for example, about hurting everyone he tried to get close to, and his reaction to the string of lovers Chloe had interviewed, none of whom had given a damn about him once “the best night of their lives” had ended. Not to mention how he'd nearly blown things with Chloe by listening to that poaching idiot, Jeb. He’d even, for whatever weird Lucifer reasons, accepted that stupid chakra-balancing bracelet, despite his professed disdain for New Age superstitions. His dismissive attitude made complete sense now, of course, considering the guy not only knew the truth of the Creation stories but had actively participated in them. Lots of things made more sense now, for better or worse.

“So, I, uh, talked to Amenadiel,” Dan blurted, steeling himself not to flinch when Lucifer’s attention shifted.

“Ah, Dull & Duller reunited. I can only imagine how scintillating that conversation must have been,” Lucifer quipped, his smirk offset by his avoidance of Dan’s eyes, concentrating instead on adjusting his cufflinks.

Dan refused to get angry. He had no right. He’d tried to murder Lucifer, right in front of Chloe no less. It was only by the grace of, well, angelic self-actualization rather than God that he’d failed, had avoided adding yet another mortal sin to his tally. 

“And Linda. Both as a friend and as a therapist.”

A raised brow asked a silent question as Lucifer abandoned his fidgeting and looked up.

“I started seeing her a while ago. After, uhm, Charlotte.”

Dan’s throat tightened and he hurriedly looked down, blinking back sudden tears.

Lucifer cleared his throat before replying, using the gentle, patient tone Dan associated with his conversations with Ella and Chloe. “Daniel, if there is any silver lining to your unwelcome introduction to the celestial side of things, it’s that now you know for sure that you, at least, will see her again.”

Dan stifled a sob, then felt Lucifer’s hand on his shoulder, steering him into the interrogation observation room, muttering something about “humans” and “vexing” and “emotions” as he shut the door behind them. Dan’s eyes drifted to the patched wall – the _concrete_ wall – that Maze had told him Lucifer had put his fist through when he’d realized Pete couldn’t lead them to Chloe.

“Why am I still alive?” he murmured.

“Daniel?” 

“Not that I don’t appreciate it – especially where I’m headed - but… I tried to kill you, man. Would have, if you hadn’t suddenly become bulletproof around Chloe. And you obviously,” he continued, gesturing at the patchwork, “could squash me like a bug.”

Lucifer’s brow furrowed as he considered his reply. “Several reasons, I suppose. First and foremost, both Chloe and Beatrice are inordinately fond of you and I will do everything in my power to prevent them from getting hurt, physically or emotionally. Also, strictly speaking, angels aren’t allowed to kill humans. Except for sociopathic ex-immortal crime lords who quite literally asked for it, but even then, the cost was nearly more than even I was willing to pay.” He hesitated, looking mildly abashed. “And, well, I consider you a friend, which I’ll admit is still a relatively new concept for me, but one which I’m fairly certain precludes death or dismemberment.”

Dan scrubbed at his face with the palms of his hands, rubbing away moisture from under his eyes. Ella had been right all along – the Devil _had_ gotten a bad rap.

“And what did you mean by where you’re going? I certainly have no direct say over these things – never did – but if I’m any judge of character – and I think we can both agree I am – you’ll be headed straight to the Silver City, although I can’t guarantee that Amenadiel will be available to take you up personally, as he was with dear Charlotte.”

Dan was reminded of his recent conversation with Amenadiel, back when things like being tortured for eternity in Hell were a lot more hypothetical. 

“I… I don’t know, man. Amenadiel tried to tell me something similar – that he knew what real evil was, and I wasn’t it - but I’ve got a lot of red in my ledger. More than you and your brother know.”

Lucifer huffed a quiet laugh. “Yes, he once said something comparable to me as well.” Lucifer paused, lost in thought, while Dan took the opportunity to pull himself together. “I… have an idea that might help. Daniel, do you trust me?”

For a moment, Dan teetered on the edge of hysterical laughter. It was a crazy question, in an even crazier situation, from one of the most feared beings in human history, but the craziest part of the whole thing was his instinctive reply. “Yeah. Yeah, man, I do.”

The resultant smile Lucifer offered him – grateful, a bit fragile, and far more angelic than Devilish - was all the reassurance he needed. 

“Then tell me - what is it you truly desire?”

Dan, captured by Lucifer’s intense gaze, felt his inhibitions slipping away, his innermost yearnings rising to the surface. “I… I want…”

“Yes?” 

The pull intensified. “I want to be a better man, to be worthy of Charlotte’s love.”

Lucifer took a step back, abruptly breaking the connection, looking almost as dazed as Dan felt.

“Well, it seems my brother is a bit more astute than I gave him credit for. And that you and I have more in common than I imagine either of us expected.”

Dan shook his head to clear it, finally understanding why Chloe let Lucifer take the lead so often during interrogations. “Wait… what?” 

“Your deepest desires… those are not the longings of an inherently evil man.” Lucifer’s lips curled into a wry grin. “I suppose it took hearing it in a different context for me to truly embrace that. And if I, of all beings, can choose to become better, can be redeemed, then surely your misdeeds – however heinous they may seem to you right now – can be atoned for.”

Dan shook his head. “I’ve been trying, man, but I feel like I just… I keep falling short.”

“Your guilt is the key, Daniel. Once Charlotte learned that humans condemn themselves to Hell by feeling guilty, she chose to lead a different life, one that allowed her to right her own wrongs.” Lucifer’s focus turned inward for a moment, his grin softening. “You need to find a way to forgive yourself. Perhaps, when you are in doubt, ask yourself what Charlotte’s advice would be?” 

Dan stared blankly at Lucifer for a moment, a small, hesitant smile emerging as he considered the Devil’s words.

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Lucifer, I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough.”

Lucifer forestalled any awkward attempts at hugging by backing quickly towards the door with his hands raised in front of him, index fingers raised.

“I’ll make you a deal, Daniel. You stop whingeing about your pudding cups and we’ll call it even. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pop out and pick up a coffee and a snack for the Detective before she gets back to her desk.”

**Author's Note:**

> Because I miss those cute 'bracelet bro' and 'three men and an {angel} baby' moments. And thanks to Virtuella for the beta read!


End file.
